Introduction to Family Constellations – LOVE NEEDS ORDER

“Success in life depends on how we feel about our parents; when we accept and consent to reality as it is. And take them as they are.”

HEAL PRESENCE OF THE PAST

We are influenced by those who came before us and influencing those who come after. Everything in the universe is interconnected so are we. We inherit cultures and experiences. This is known as collective unconscious or memory in nature.

Memory in nature organises itself in systems such as flock of birds, religions, countries, football teams and so on, but the most important system for human beings is the family. Family systems are responsible for how we live and how we thrive through natural laws called ‘The Orders of Love”.

The orders of love rarely exist intact within the average family. They dictate who belongs and what will happen to the family when a member has been excluded by them in an attempt to achieve collective hamony.

Exclusions are separations and create trauma, disruption and unbalance. They are known as entanglements and are cause of pain and suffering. Restablishing these orders will bring peace an freedom to the individual and to the group.

‘The idea of the memory being the brain is an assumption. Everything that happens in our culture we inherit,’ Rupert Sheldrake.

Whilst life is the greatest gift given to us by our parents, trauma is the greatest obstacle. It plays like a broken record, in cycles and shows itself through symptoms well known to all:  drug addiction, lack of motivation, new partner with the same behaviour as the old one, always working but broke most of the time…

• Are you unconsciously in the middle of your parents relationship, taking sides and attracting a similar fate to the one you rejected, judged or merged with? i.e. a string of relationships of unavailable men could be the result of judging your father for not being available to your mother.

• Suppose a suicidal adolescent was unconsciously trying to follow the fate of an older brother who wasn’t born because the mother had a miscarriage?
• Have you ever thought that your fear of the future might belong to your grandmother who was abandoned as a child?

• What if a woman’s breast cancer were rooted in the unconscious feeling of guilt for having had an abortion?

• Why do marriages where a spouse who cheated then was forgiven ends?

• What if a man’s alcoholism is because of an unconscious loyalty to his alcoholic father?

• Can a person’s chronic low back pain actually represents the need to show respect to their mother or father?

• What if the guilt a person feels really belongs to a family member  who’s been a slave owner or a Nazi soldier?
• And maybe your compulsive need to help people before helping yourself is the need to protect your mother from the harms of a past abuse she suffered?
• Maybe the boy born out of a rape might rape in an attempt to include his father excluded by his family?

WHAT TO EXPECT?

An overall understanding on how this family therapy works; the orders of love and how they are responsible for how you live and thrive. Learn about entanglements, blind love and patterns that keep you where you don’t want to be.

According to Bert Hellinger, all pains come from some type of separation that later become unconscious destructive patterns affecting the family members and generations to come.

LOOK AT SOME MAJOR SIGNS A STORY NEEDS HEALING:

• No matter your efforts, success doesn’t come to you.

• Money is a struggle; you either never make enough or you spend more than what you have.

• Do you always end up with the same type of partner?

• There’s this feeling something is missing in your life but you just don’t know what!

• You feel lost, unhappy but don’t know why!

• Drug use, alcoholism, anxiety…

AN OVERALL LOOK INTO THE TRAUMAS THAT WILL GET YOU ENTANGLED IN DAILY LIFE STRUGGLES

Exclusions & Self-exclusions

Murder

Suicide

Slavery

Family Secret

Prolonged hospitalisations

Abortion

Miscarriage

Early death of a parent

Early death of a child

Stillbirth

War

Abandonment

Adoption

Divorce…

Symptoms you have inherited some kind of family trauma may show through lack of success and difficulties in earning or keeping money. But also illnesses, mental distress and a string of failed relationships.

Developed by Bert Hellinger, this is the quickest and most efficient therapy at present. The resolution of an entanglement gives a sense of peace and autonomy to run your life in a conscious way.

HOW TO BOOK A SESSION WITH ME:

• Go to my website and click on “Sessions for Students”, choose the date and time, then make the payment. You’ll get a Zoom link. That’s it.  As a student you have 50% discount.
• My book “Heal the Presence of the Past
• Instagram – @mumanddadtherapy
• My website is christinabucherDOTcom